Make Me Better Thrive

We all face moments when stress feels overwhelming, and staying calm seems nearly impossible. Whether it’s an impending deadline, a tough conversation, or an unexpected life challenge, our minds can easily spiral into negativity. During such times, the power of positive self-talk can become a game-changer in how we handle stress, regain control, and maintain a sense of calm.

What Is Positive Self-Talk?

Positive self-talk is the internal dialogue that boosts confidence, reduces anxiety, and fosters resilience. It’s essentially the practice of talking to yourself in an encouraging and optimistic way, challenging negative thoughts, and reframing them into constructive ones. While this may sound like a simple concept, it’s an incredibly effective tool for improving your emotional and mental state.

Imagine you’re in a stressful situation, such as giving a presentation at work. Instead of thinking, “I’m going to mess this up,” you tell yourself, “I’ve prepared for this, and I can handle it.” That shift in mindset can change how you approach the situation and help you stay calm under pressure.

Why Positive Self-Talk Works

Our thoughts play a significant role in shaping our emotions and behavior. When we think negatively, we create more stress and anxiety, making it harder to cope with the challenges we face. On the other hand, positive self-talk reduces stress hormones, increases self-confidence, and helps us approach difficult situations with a clearer, more focused mind.

Research shows that the brain doesn’t easily differentiate between reality and imagination. When you tell yourself something positive, even if you’re just trying to convince yourself, your brain starts to believe it. This can lower cortisol levels (the stress hormone) and increase your ability to think rationally during stressful times.

How Positive Self-Talk Regains Calmness

Here’s how engaging in positive self-talk can help you regain calm when stress threatens to take over:

1. Breaks the Cycle of Negative Thinking:
   Stress can trigger a loop of negative thoughts, which only makes you feel worse. Positive self-talk interrupts that cycle and redirects your focus to something constructive.
2. Shifts Perspective:
   When things feel overwhelming, it’s easy to lose perspective. Positive self-talk helps remind you that the situation is manageable, or at least temporary, which can prevent you from feeling completely powerless.
3. Reduces the Fight-or-Flight Response:
   In moments of intense stress, the body often goes into fight-or-flight mode. Positive self-talk encourages your brain to switch from this survival mode to a calmer, more rational state, helping you regain control.
4. Increases Confidence and Motivation:
   Telling yourself you can handle a situation reinforces your belief in your own abilities. This boost in self-confidence makes it easier to stay composed and take effective action.

Practical Tips to Use Positive Self-Talk in Stressful Times

Now that we understand how beneficial positive self-talk can be, how do you incorporate it into your life? Here are some practical tips to get started:

1. Challenge Negative Thoughts

One of the first steps in practicing positive self-talk is becoming aware of your negative thoughts. Often, we don’t even realize how frequently we’re being self-critical. The next time you notice a negative thought creeping in, challenge it by asking, “Is this really true?” or “What’s the worst that could happen?”

For instance, if you catch yourself thinking, “I’m never going to get this done,” ask yourself, “Have I faced similar challenges before? How did I overcome them?” This small shift in thinking can dramatically lower your stress levels.

2. Use Affirmations

Affirmations are positive statements that help you combat self-doubt and reinforce positive beliefs. These simple, yet powerful, phrases can be repeated to yourself whenever you feel anxious or stressed. They work by replacing the negative mental chatter with more productive thoughts.

Here are a few examples of affirmations you can use during stressful times:

• “I am capable of handling this.”
• “I’ve faced challenges before, and I can do it again.”
• “I choose to focus on what I can control.”
• “This feeling is temporary, and I will get through it.”

The key is to use affirmations that resonate with you personally. Make them specific to your situation, and repeat them regularly to help shift your mindset.

3. Focus on Solutions, Not Problems

When stress hits, it’s easy to focus on everything that’s going wrong. But instead of fixating on the problem, shift your self-talk to be solution-oriented. For example, if you’re stressed about an approaching deadline, rather than thinking, “I’ll never finish on time,” try, “What steps can I take right now to make progress?”

By focusing on what you can do rather than what’s going wrong, you empower yourself to take control of the situation. This helps reduce feelings of helplessness and calms your mind.

4. Speak to Yourself Like a Friend

Think about how you would comfort a friend who’s going through a stressful time. You wouldn’t berate them or tell them they’re going to fail—you’d offer words of encouragement and support. So, why not extend the same kindness to yourself?

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, practice speaking to yourself as you would to someone you care about. Replace harsh, critical thoughts with compassionate, reassuring ones. For instance, swap “I’m such a failure” with “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.”

5. Breathe and Reframe

During a particularly stressful moment, take a pause and breathe deeply. Sometimes, all it takes is a few moments of focused breathing to clear your head and reset your thoughts. As you breathe, practice reframing your negative thoughts into positive ones.

For example, if you’re about to give a big presentation and think, “I’m too nervous, I’m going to mess this up,” take a deep breath and reframe it into, “Nerves are natural, and I’ve prepared for this moment.”

Final Thoughts

Stressful situations are an inevitable part of life, but how we handle them is within our control. Positive self-talk is a powerful tool for maintaining calm, even when things feel overwhelming. By being aware of your thoughts, challenging negativity, and practicing affirmations, you can regain control and face challenges with confidence.

Remember, the goal of positive self-talk isn’t to ignore reality or pretend that stress doesn’t exist. Instead, it’s about approaching life’s difficulties with a mindset that fosters resilience and calmness. Next time you feel stress building, try using some of these self-talk techniques—you might be surprised at how much they help.